My thoughts on Mormonism and homosexuality are complicated. I don’t always understand my own thoughts and definitely find some contradictions in my opinions–in fact, far too many of them for just one blog post, or maybe for even an entire blog. However, I did want to share a few things I’ve come to realize and also my hope that things might get better.
Chastity is very important to us and our doctrine. All members are supposed to refrain from sexual activity outside of marriage and the idea of same-sex marriage doesn’t fit within current LDS theology. (I use the term “current” because since we are a church that believes in continuing revelation it is possible, though unlikely, that our interpretation of eternal marriage could change). The LDS notion of eternal marriage is based on the idea that we will create eternal families with eternal increase, meaning having children in the next life. In order to do this, the eternal couple needs to be male and female. In addition, we believe that “[g]ender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose,” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World) thus a same-sex couple on this earth would still be a same-sex couple in the hereafter and still unable to procreate (See also, Mormon Studies‘ explanation).
When you put together our doctrines on chastity and marriage, life is very difficult for LDS people who are LGBTQ. Basically, they have to chose between having sexual relations with somebody to whom they are attracted and being an active member of the church. That’s a really hard choice and my heart goes out to them. I also really admire those who have chosen to remain faithful members.
To make things even more difficult for them, Mormon people are not always the most welcoming to our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Despite the fact that LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley admonished us years ago to “love [LGBTQ people] as sons and daughters of God,” I don’t think we as a people have done a very good job at being accepting and understanding of the difficulties our brothers and sisters face. However, I think we are slowly making changes, like the following Trevor Project-inspired video made by USGA, a BYU group made up of LGBTQ students and their allies.
The fact that a group like USGA even exists and that the students at BYU were free to make this video without risking any sanction shows how things have improved, even in the 8 years since I graduated from BYU. Similarly, this article on the CNN Belief Blog shows other ways our culture is evolving to slowly become more accepting. But, even if things are getting a little better, we still have a long way to go.
Kim Hafer
I read the article and I’ve got to say that it probably left me feeling worse than before I read it. I watched the Trevor Project video when it was posted a few weeks ago and thought it was amazing. After the article I feel like we have taken steps backwards. Maybe it was the way it was written but what I took from the posting was that even though we don’t excommunicate the individuals or expell them from BYU anymore, that they are still outsiders, they still cannot attain the what those who are not LGBT can. The writer even states that “since we are a church that believes in continuing revelation it is possible, though unlikely, that our interpretation of eternal marriage could change”. Why even state that it’s unlikely? Why take that hope away from people? I can’t say whether the author truly supports the LGBTQ but this article almost screams that she doesn’t. It may be getting better but this article doesn’t showcase that fact.
Dear Kim,
I’m very sorry if my post left you with the impression that I don’t support LGBTQ members of our church. That was NOT my intention at all. I’m really happy about the changes that we have made in church policy, like not excommunicating and or kicking people out of BYU. I’m glad that the Trevor Project video made you feel good, but I think that it also highlights how much more we need to do. I think that we still have to make lots of cultural changes to to help our LGBTQ brothers and sisters feel better understood accepted in our largely homophobic Mormon culture and that was what my post was trying to point out.
As far as my statement about our current doctrine being unlikely to change, I was trying to be realistic. Our church doesn’t change its stance on things like marriage very often (we stopped practicing polygamy here, but still teach it as an “eternal principle” and still allow men to be sealed to multiple women as long as they’re not both living), and, as my doctrinal explanation illustrates, it would take a pretty big doctrinal shift–like overturning the proclamation on the family and reinterpreting D&C 132–for us to celebrate same-sex marriages in our temples. My point was not to “take hope away” but rather to illustrate how difficult the decision to remain active is for LGBTQ members and to commend those who choose to stay chaste and active for their immense faith and love of the Lord.
Hopefully this comment helps clarify my thoughts and again, I’m sorry that I was unclear in my first post. I’m happy to answer any further questions you may have about my views.
Martha
Through the Lord we can do and experience amazing things. There is no limit to what we can achieve or the glories that we can experience through Him. Faith in the Lord can help us through difficult times in our lives and we know that prayers can be answered. He gives us direction through past and current Prophets and it is at His discretion and His will that determines what guidance we will receive at what time.
Through faith in the Lord we know that the impossible is truly possible but it is not up to us to determine if or when these impossible changes occur. We can look at the history of our Church and see this illustrated. It wasn’t until the 148th Semiannual General Conference on September 30th, 1978 that a letter from Spencer W. Kimball was read that outlined the shift in church doctrine that allowed that “all worthy male members of the Church may be ordained to the priesthood without regard to race or color”. I can only imagine what it must have been like before this impossibility became a possibility. If the Lord can witness our world and see the need for a change which allowed our African American members the right and privilege to hold the priesthood after being long denied such a privilege, who are we to say that through the continuing revelations we are given that it is “unlikely” that our LBGT members may not see such a change.
You said it yourself, “LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley admonished us years ago to “love [LGBTQ people] as sons and daughters of God”. They believe the same principle as we do and long to attain the same things. Looking through Church history they can see the changes that have occurred and hope for the future. They spend every day looking at the world realistically, knowing that not only will their religion not allow them to be with and marry the person that they love but that society in general has the same view. The LGBT community is still pushing their handcarts towards a new life where they can truly be accepted for who they are. We need to give them that hope.
Great post. I have also been excited to see the recent evidence that the atmosphere at BYU has improved so much for the LGBT community there in the last few years. Many people have suggested similarly to you that “we still have a long way to go.” My gut feeling is that this is true, but having a long way to go suggests some destination, right? What are your thoughts on what this final destination is?
Patrick,
Thanks for the comment. As far as a final destination. I’m not sure what it will look like doctrinally, but I can tell you some aspects of what I hope to see in our cultural destination.
Some of the students in the video talk about their (I’m assuming) Mormon families and friends shunning them and all the terrible names they were called. Many of the students also state that, after they realized they were LGBT, their first reaction was that God didn’t love them or that they had done something wrong. Both of these things should change in our culture.
My imagined destination is one where LGBT Mormons can openly state their orientation without fear of their families disowning them or their ward members shunning them. It’s one where they never question whether or not God loves them or think that their sexual orientation is some sort of punishment. I picture faithful people serving in all callings no matter what their sexual orientation (which has happened in a few congregations, but I think hasn’t happened in a lot of them).
I realize that’s not very specific, but hopefully that gives you an idea of where I hope things are going. What are your thoughts?