Mothers partner with their husbands and their God to create and bring forth life. After years of changing diapers, nursing sick ones, and walking floors to calm their cries, they spend more years making peanut butter sandwiches in the wee hours of the morning for school lunches. Then they sacrifice their sleep again as they wait for teens to come home from dates or parties. They pray their children through their educations, into their careers, and onward as they start their own families. And through all this, they nurture, love, and teach.

My own dear mother did all of this and more to raise her six children. I still marvel both that she could stand the smell of peanut butter at 7 am and at the hours she spent in the car, driving her children from place to place so they could develop their talents and pursue their interests. Even still, as a grandmother-of-a-dozen, she gives of her time to serve us and others, because it is part of her nature.

For all the gifts we are given by our mothers, I would suggest they deserve to be honored more than once a year. Motherhood is sacred service. It is a career from which a woman does not retire. One of the ten commandments is to honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land; considering what company it keeps, it is clear that this commandment was not given lightly.

And so I put forth this question to you… How do you honor your mother? Not just on Mother’s Day, but every day? I’ll admit – I usually don’t think to send her flowers, but I try to live the righteous principles she teaches me and model my life after her example of faithful Christian goodness. And probably most importantly, I try to remember to say thank you – regularly.

When I first heard about feminism described in waves, this really made sense to me. My mother was on an earlier wave and now I’m on a later one. She was as feminist as a devout Mormon women dedicated to her family could be. She paved the way in an era when women often didn’t have higher education and pursuing their own passions outside the home was looked down on. She got married at 21 and had a baby in a little over a year. She always said she felt like she got married too young although she didn’t regret any of her kids. Her stories included a childhood Sunday School teacher who taught repressive things on women based on a book he would bring to church. Later she found this same book in a church library in Georgia and threw it out. She was the kind of woman who at the end of her life was studying algebra so she could take calculus, something women didn’t do when she was young.

My dad was always really supportive of her, and they had a great marriage. After three kids, she got a master’s degree and taught evening classes in English. When my youngest sister went to first grade, my mom started teaching full time at a community college. She was really happy about working. My mom was an amazing teacher. While I did miss her at home some, I also knew I really mattered to her. I never felt like my mom loved us less because she wanted to work and have a career too.

My parents always told me I could do whatever I wanted to do with my life, that I should follow my passions. It was a huge shock when I went to a church lesson for young women around 14 and heard about how women were primarily responsible for staying home and taking care of their kids. I cried and cried. I felt too ashamed to tell anyone the truth and said I was crying for a different reason. I wished I talked to my mom about this issue because she would have probably really helped. I spent most of my high school years trying to figure out how I could have a family and be dedicated to what I wanted to do with my life. I was obsessed with it. I remember having a long talk with my dad after watching an awful seminary video in which a teenager is trying to decide about having a career. In the movie her mom is doing laundry and her kids find her college degree in the attic. They didn’t even know she had been to college at all! Mom then gives an explanation about how she’d decided to stay at home. The girl then tells her science advisor she’s not going to continue on the path of vigorous study. The options presented seemed to be all or nothing, but I decided in the end I wanted to always work part-time but also be at home with my kids.

As much as I have strong feminist feelings, I also have incredibly strong maternal instincts. I am good with kids and work with them as the paid part of my art career. I want to get married and have kids and give them the safety and love I felt as a child. I think I might have gotten married earlier if I hadn’t had some emotional problems connected to my mother’s death that got turned into a low-grade depression inside of me. Such things aren’t really certain though, and I have to remember it doesn’t define my worth. Progression is what matters, and I’m so grateful to God for how he’s helped me overcome it.

The greatest consolation prize for being single is nieces and nephews. Kids always want extra love and I have a lot to give. I can connect to them in some ways my married siblings can’t. My visits to my siblings make me realize I can still support families as a single person. I’m not sure I can feel prouder than when my little niece Hathaway calls me her “best friend.”

To me the most important thing about feminism is that women have choices, the choice to stay at home or to work as they feel is right for them and their family. At the same time, I strongly believe in the importance of families. It’s quite clear to me that a lot of the problems of our youth today, particularly inner city youth, are related to the lack of strong families. Yet I do not feel that going back to an era when women had fewer options is going to solve the problem either.

Chastity is very important to us and our doctrine. All members are supposed to refrain from sexual activity outside of marriage and the idea of same-sex marriage doesn’t fit within current LDS theology. (I use the term “current” because since we are a church that believes in continuing revelation it is possible, though unlikely, that our interpretation of eternal marriage could change). The LDS notion of eternal marriage is based on the idea that we will create eternal families with eternal increase, meaning having children in the next life. In order to do this, the eternal couple needs to be male and female. In addition, we believe that “[g]ender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose,” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World) thus a same-sex couple on this earth would still be a same-sex couple in the hereafter and still unable to procreate (See also, Mormon Studies‘ explanation).

When you put together our doctrines on chastity and marriage, life is very difficult for LDS people who are LGBTQ. Basically, they have to chose between having sexual relations with somebody to whom they are attracted and being an active member of the church. That’s a really hard choice and my heart goes out to them. I also really admire those who have chosen to remain faithful members.

To make things even more difficult for them, Mormon people are not always the most welcoming to our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Despite the fact that LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley admonished us years ago to “love [LGBTQ people] as sons and daughters of God,” I don’t think we as a people have done a very good job at being accepting and understanding of the difficulties our brothers and sisters face. However, I think we are slowly making changes, like the following Trevor Project-inspired video made by USGA, a BYU group made up of LGBTQ students and their allies.

The fact that a group like USGA even exists and that the students at BYU were free to make this video without risking any sanction shows how things have improved, even in the 8 years since I graduated from BYU. Similarly, this article on the CNN Belief Blog shows other ways our culture is evolving to slowly become more accepting. But, even if things are getting a little better, we still have a long way to go.

All of us, I’m sure, have been in a place where we are faced with a perplexing problem or challenge that we don’t know how to resolve on our own. What do we do? Often, I seek for counsel from those I trust. Colleagues, parents, and even the Internet have provided needed insights in the past. But some of my questions are vastly more complex than something I can simply Google (as much as I’d like to be able to!), and a few even border on seemingly unanswerable. What then?

Elder Scott provides the answer. We pray and ask our loving Father. Revelation will come as we ask specific questions, no matter how big or small those questions may be.

In his talk, Elder Scott reviewed some things we can do to facilitate the process of revelation and inspiration in our lives, including fasting, searching the scriptures, pondering, eliminating anger and hurt, avoiding exaggeration, and getting enough sleep, just to name a few. There are some very practical things as well as some more distinctly spiritual things, but the message is clear—to receive revelation, we must ask, but we must also place ourselves in a position to receive answers.

As one ancient prophet reminded us: Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you. – 1 Nephi 15:11

I testify that this principle is true. As I face challenging problems in my life, I know that our Heavenly Father will answer my petitions for His guidance. Likewise, if you desire inspiration, guidance, or direction in your life, I urge you to follow Elder Scott’s counsel and seek the Lord in prayer—and He will answer.

Vermeer, Christ in the House of Mary and Martha

So central is the equality of all humankind to Christ’s message that during his earthly ministry Christ openly rejected cultural proscriptions that relegated women to an inferior spiritual and political status. He recognized women’s spirits and intellects; he taught them directly (Luke 10:38-42); he identified himself as the Messiah to a woman, the first such affirmation recorded in the New Testament (John 4:26); he healed women (Matt. 15:22-28) and raised a woman from the dead (Luke 8:49-56). After his resurrection, he appeared first to a woman, whom he asked to tell his apostles of the glorious event (John 20:11-18), although according to Jewish law women were not considered competent as legal witnesses. (Mary Stovall Richards, Feminism, Encyclopedia of Mormonism)

After talking over the issue with several of my LDS female friends, I realized that they, and possibly lots of other Mormons out there both male and female, shy away from the term “feminist,” because they don’t understand what it means. Rather than somebody who views men as lesser beings, a feminist is somebody who believes in, and advocates for, social, politcal, and economic gender equality. I can’t think of anything more central to our doctrine than the idea of equality among all of God’s children regardless of gender (See Valerie Hudson’s explanation of Mormonism as “the most feminist of all the Christianities“).

So, readers, I invite you all to join me in the feminist crusade. You don’t have to become a radical feminist, but please, take a stand for equality. As Ashley Judd (yes, that Ashley Judd) recently pointed out in the Daily Beast. “[Our objectification of both genders] affects each and every one of us, in multiple and nefarious ways: our self-image, how we show up in our relationships and at work, our sense of our worth, value, and potential as human beings. Join in—and help change—the Conversation.”

We’re all resistant to the idea of being manipulated by potentially-false information. We’re wary of those whose helpfulness seems to mask an ulterior motive.  Because the world around us is swimming with information–some true, some partially-true, and some flat-out false–we tend to adopt a defensive position when someone or something challenges our personal worldview.

But how have we formed that worldview in the first place?  Haven’t we been surrounded by propaganda from the beginning–in advertising, in news and entertainment, and in the biased perspectives of those around us?   We can try to arrange the puzzle on our own or sift through the haystack in search of a needle, but who’s to say if the puzzle is accurate or if the needle is any more important than the hay?   If we reach out to others, can we trust that their judgement is sound?   Who knows what is ultimately worthy of our time and our moral devotion?

Someone does.

In world that fluctuates wildly in a social, political, and economic sense (country to country and even decade to decade), there is an unchanging standard by which we can measure all other truths.  God is the source of that Truth, and He alone can reveal things as they actually are.  The world that we see around us is not, in fact, “reality”–it is an imperfect place full of imperfect people grasping at fragments of truth.  Establishing a personal connection with God brings these fragments together and grants us a glimpse of the whole.  Rather than clouding judgement, the religious life facilitates connection with the Divine and paves the way to clear thought and eternal perspective.

Knowledge received in this way must be experienced before it can be fully understood. In the words of C.S. Lewis, “There is only one thing in the whole universe which we know more about than we could learn from external observation. That one thing is Man.  We do not merely observe men, we are men. In this case we have, so to speak, inside information.”  In terms of our personal connection with God, then, we are the primary source.  We are in the know.  We have the facts because we are the facts.

When God communicates Truth directly to our spirits, there are no dangerous detours along the way, no filters of opinion or judgement.  Spiritual knowledge flows, purely and simply, from Father to child, from the source to the receiver.   Our physical senses may play tricks or fall short, but the spiritual spark within each of us can be fanned until it becomes a flame that illuminates Truth and leads us to something eternal. (Unfortunately, the spark can also be ignored until it sputters and extinguishes.)

Many people, regardless of “religiousness,” have unconsciously discovered these truths about Truth.   They adhere to a code of ethics because the result of honest living is happiness and a sense of security.  They follow the teachings in the Bible because doing so fosters love and unity among family and friends.  They have discovered, through action, observation, and the resulting feelings, that applied truth works. I testify that the gospel of Jesus Christ, as revealed in its fulness to the prophet Joseph Smith, works, and that truth is not merely understood as an accumulation of facts.

Madeleine L’Engle proposes the following exercise:  “Close your eyes and think about the person you love most.  Do you really see him visually?  Or don’t you see him on a much deeper level?  It’s lots easier to visualize people we don’t know very well.”   A feeling, then, can be truer evidence of fact than that which we discern only with our physical senses.   Sometimes the most insidious propaganda is the propaganda we feed ourselves.

C.S. Lewis points out that “The more I resist [Christ] and try to live on my own, the more I become dominated by my own heredity and upbringing and surroundings and natural desires.  In fact what I so proudly call ‘myself’ becomes  merely the meeting place for trains of events which I never started and which I cannot stop.  What I call ‘my wishes’ become merely the desires thrown up by my physical organism or pumped into me by other men’s thoughts. Propoganda will be the real origin of what I regard as my own personal political ideals.  I am not, in my natural state, nearly so much of a person as I like to believe.”

One last point:  In our search for truth amid propaganda, we must acknowledge that Truth (with a capital “T”) does, in fact, exist.  We can’t grocery shop for those truths (lowercase “t”) that best fit our personality and current situation because Truth applies to all people and all circumstances.  Truth is not always easily applied on a practical level, but it’s the only way to lasting happiness.  As Joseph Smith searched for the church that seemed “most correct,” he discovered, to his surprise, that the one, absolute standard of Universal Truth had yet to be restored.

I testify that, through the prophet Joseph Smith, this standard has been restored.  The Book of Mormon provides a powerful promise:

“. . .and when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God. . .if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you by the power of the Holy Ghost.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:3-5)

The next time we’re seeking clarity, knowledge, or direction in life, I hope that we’ll close the computer and, instead of turning to Google, fall to our knees.   What a blessing it is to be able to communicate directly with the source of all Truth:  our loving Heavenly Father!  The opportunity is real, and God is waiting patiently.

He lives, He loves us, and that’s no propaganda!

As Mormons, we believe that the sacred powers of procreation should only be shared between husband and wife. Obviously, being celibate is a form of birth control which we believe is appropriate when single but after marriage what do Mormons believe? Mormons believe that we have the sacred privilege to bring lives to this earth and that those decisions (family planning if you will) should be between husband, wife, and God. Does that mean we as Mormons believe that we should only procreate when we want to bring children into this world? The answer is no. We believe that physical intimacy is an extremely important part of a healthy relationship and helps a husband and wife draw closer to each other by strengthening their spiritual and emotional ties.

Recently, the news has talked a lot about birth control and if the Government should pay for these things. Religiously, we believe that the Government is there to protect our rights. Each individual can decide for themselves if they feel that the right to free birth control is a right they feel the government should provide.

Abortion is another form of birth control. We as Mormons generally do not believe abortion is appropriate. However, there are certain circumstances such as rape, incest, or the health (life) of the soon to be mother when abortion might be appropriate. Again, that decision should be made between the mother, father (if appropriate), and God. We believe that when we make mistakes, we should be held accountable for those and if an unwanted pregnancy occurs we should not throw away that precious life. We know of so many couples who want to have children but due to matters outside of their control are not able to bring children into this world on their own. If you got pregnant and do not feel that you can provide the type of life that child needs, we ask that you do not have an abortion but love that child as your Heavenly Father loves you and give it up for adoption to one of these wonderful families who really wants that child. It might be one of the greatest signs of love for the child which you might never know. Some of my best friends’ parents had to make that decision and chose to let their unknown child live and gave them to another family. I am so grateful for that ultimate sign of love because my life has been affected in an amazingly positive way because they were in my life. Please share your thoughts with me – What do you personally believe and feel regarding these topics?

This week Elder Jeffrey Holland, one of the 12 Apostles of the LDS Church, came to my school to speak on the basic tenets of Mormonism at an event I helped plan. The event ended up going very well, but I was incredibly nervous beforehand for the following (and sometimes conflicting) reasons:

1. Attendance–Would any of my fellow students care to come? Would this high-profile speaker be addressing an empty room? Or, would the room be full but only of members of the church who somehow found out about the event (despite our attempts at secrecy) and filled up the room before any non-LDS people could get in?

2. Content–We had simply told Elder Holland to say something about the basics of Mormonism. What would he talk about? Would it be understandable to non-Mormons?

3. Attitudes–In addition to my worries over how people might take Elder Holland’s remarks, the event also included a Q&A session. What kinds of questions would people ask? Would they be respectful? How would Elder Holland handle “tough” questions? Or, again, would the (possibly uninvited) Mormons who found out about the event dominate the Q&A and ask really specific doctrinal questions the non-LDS people wouldn’t understand?

Luckily my fears and worries were unfounded. Our room was completely full and, as far as I could tell, most of the people in the room were not LDS. I was so pleased to see how many of my colleagues were interested in learning more about my faith. In addition, everybody was incredibly respectful during the Q&A and everybody I talked to afterwards had positive things to say about their experience.

Not only did the event reconfirm my faith that God answers prayers (since I had prayed so hard that it would go well), but it also strengthened my belief that God really does call and speak to apostles and prophets in our day. Elder Holland’s topic and on the spot answers to questions could only have been inspired.

Proxy baptisms are baptisms done on behalf of people who have died. Unlike some Christian churches who teach that those not baptized in this life cannot be saved, Mormons carry out proxy baptisms so that everyone has the chance to be saved. Proxy baptisms are conducted in a temple, a place set apart for such special ceremonies, and in the ceremony a person is baptized “on behalf of” the deceased. This does not make the person baptized Mormon. They still have the ability to choose whether to accept the baptism or not.

Church members are only supposed to submit family names for baptism so Jewish proxy baptisms are due to a few members abusing the practice of name submission. The LDS church in a recent statement read to all church congregations has called for a stop to such abuses. The Church has also started to take actions against members who violate practices and submit Jewish names. Recently, violators have lost the rights to access records or submit names indefinitely.

It is natural to see proxy baptisms as ill-advised and offensive, especially for the Jewish who have endured forced conversions throughout their history. I have been troubled by the reports myself, realizing how wrong they were and glad when I read the Church’s message calling for a stop to baptisms of non-familiar contemporaries. Yet I felt at a loss as to how to explain something that sounds odd but to me is something very precious and beautiful.

Let me see if you will understand it another way. Baptism for the dead is our way of asserting the importance of every individual in the face of a great difference in belief and earthly circumstance. It makes everyone equal before God, able to change and to be saved. It’s our way of saying that all people are children of God, equally valued, no matter the circumstances that life dealt them. It shows that we believe in a merciful God who can still allow people to change after death. This Mormon love letter to humanity helps us care about people of the past, to remember them and no matter their obscurity to testify of their value. We feel close to them when we are baptized in their name. We attest that God can fix and make sense of a confusion of belief and a multitude of ill treatment, that humanity in all its messiness now and then will have a chance.

I grew up hearing speculations about why this policy existed. People would use psuedo-doctrine, similar to what the BYU professor said, to justify the policy. The more they spoke, the more they made me sick. Maybe it’s because I am a minority – a triple minority in some respects. I’m (1) female, (2) Asian, and (3) LDS, so I’m a minority in terms of gender, race, and religion. When I was younger, I had serious issues with the idea that my Church discriminated against people that had skin as brown as mine. I really hated it when Church members used conjecture and speculation to try to soothe my angry and inquiring teenage mind. When I couldn’t find a real answer to my questions, it made me rethink everything else I was taught, including my own membership in the Church.

The Church issued a rebuttal to the WP article, affirming its position that “all are alike unto God,” and that the professor’s comments do NOT represent real Church doctrine. The God referred to in this article, is the God that I have come to know and love. The true God spoken of in the Book of Mormon, the Bible, and other scripture welcomes all people, regardless of race, creed, income, or sex. The true God is “not a respector of persons,” and certainly would not respect man-made concepts as arbitrary as racial categories.

I’m glad that people are talking about this. We need to talk about the past in a frank and open manner. I hope that by looking at the past, and finding mistakes in our thinking and practices, that we can use this opportunity to better the organization. But the only way we can do that is if we stop pushing issues under the rug and address them head on.